Barbenheimer SummerSlam 2023
It's all just Hollywood neoliberalism!
Cinemas are in full swing again. After a series of failures in June 2023 for both The Flash and Indiana Jones, comic con feminists and history nerds of all ages (perhaps including young geniuses) booked a seat for Barbie. Or Oppenheimer. Or both, in the phenom known as Barbenheimer. I thought it was Barbieheimer but Barbenheimer sounds more severe.
It was supposed to be a Warner Bros double bill, targeting two different markets. But Christopher Nolan upset that his biopic epic might go to HBO Max, picked Universal Pictures, and UP picked 21 July 2023 as the release date of Oppenheimer.
WB picked the date for the lower key Coyote vs. Acme (Will Forte represents Wile E. Coyote against John Cena’s ACME Corporation), but with theaters re-opened in 2022, it raised the stake with Barbie. Yes, Warner Bros. Discovery might seek to slight Nolan, knowing that he always released his masterpieces, from The Dark Knight to Tenet, in mid-July.
Sure, Barbie and Oppenheimer have very different audiences. But in the age of enby, memes, and experience economy, why not make everything ironic and inclusive, including the two movies? We went from memes to Etsy merchandise to actual premieres held in London. Both movies star Anglo-Celtic actors playing American characters, have equal appeals on both sides of the Atlantic, had to follow the American SAG-AFTRA strike, and both were chided by Miss Fine of Queens for their last-day promos.
Everyone agrees it’s Oppie first and then Barbie. Margot Robbie even suggested an Oppie sandwich between two viewing of Barbie. Indonesians, happy to get Doraemon’s 42nd movie Nobita’s Sky Utopia, put it as the appetizer before the Oppie main course and the Barbie dessert delight. A day at the movies, a day at the mall, everyone’s happy even the employers, as the Indonesian Dora-Barbenheimer Day fell on July 19, the Islamic New Year. It might have been the biggest New Year’s movie gala in Indonesian history.
Indonesians are totally chill with the Barbenheimer but not so for others. First, the government of Vietnam, who’s convinced that Barbie’s journey map is another sneaky promotion for China’s Nine Dash Line maritime claim. No Barbie in Vietnamese cinemas, leaving Barbie fans there to return to piracy.
Manila was also alarmed, and the Nine Dash Line isn’t a joke there. But after a careful review of Barbie’s world map, which draws Asia as a vertical continent next to England (actually Britain), the Philippines decided that Barbie is halal, and local cinema chains didn’t have to destroy their promotional materials.
No u-turn for Vietnam and Vietnamese bots maintained that a) the Filipinos are foolish and naïve and b) International coverage of Vietnam’s ban raised global awareness of Vietnam’s sovereignty. Hey, if Jane Fonda and Joan Baez were with Hanoi, Barbie would understand her visa rejection.
In any case, Asian political commentators were amused that it was Barbie, not Oppenheimer, which had raised political alarm in Asia. Japan is yet to show Oppenheimer, but Tokyo raises no issue about it.
This leaves Twitter, with all its politicking, to raise issues with both movies. First, American conservatives don’t like Barbie. Make American Great Again bros are naturally sick of its aesthetic and feminist packing. MAGA moms are upset that it’s an existentialist comedy involving multiple worlds (but not multiple universes as feared), not just a two-hour version of Barbie’s Dreamhouse. And of course, it has feminist jokes about female bodies.
The backlash against Oppenheimer is more unexpected. White conservatives don’t have a problem with it (despite Oppenheimer being a leftie who regretted his work), but woke Asians do. It glosses over Japanese civilians killed in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the internment of Japanese Americans, and Latino and Native Americans displaced in New Mexico.
In fact, the discourse rolls into that classic debate: Were the bombs necessary? Did Japan ready to surrender in July 1945? Is it racist to believe that Japan was ready to defend Honshu to the last baby?
And then to the next level: How awful was the US compared to Nazi Germany and the Empire of Japan? Just like in Indiana Jones 5, the USSR is out of the picture and out of the discussion. Left-wing youth might support Ukraine and blames Moscow for the Trump administration, but they have no problem with the USSR, a state that died before their births.
Despite the great lesson of Barbie, that girls and boys complement each other (this is basic Christianity), we have girls, boys, and neutered children fighting. Oppenheimer stinks because it’s too white (Oppenheimer was a Jew, but Jews are white according to modern Americans) and it’s too patriarchal, with only two significant female characters, both played by white Englishwomen.
No, Barbie stinks because it’s woke, it’s feminist, and it’s smug. It’s designed for Millennial women, not families. It offers confusing concepts even for adults, as well as inappropriate jokes. It’s a waste of time and money.
You know what both movies are about. Both are neoliberal blockbusters made by center-left auteurs. Liberal enough for cosmopolitan Western audiences and marketed enough for the rest of the world. In the end, the American world order is preserved, and audiences are left satisfied. Both directors also maintain their visions. Gerwig with her heroine’s quest, and Nolan with his Promethean hero, tried and judged but makes it to the end.
Barbie seems to make more money but of course. It has a wider appeal. It warrants rewatches (even as some people may leave Oppenheimer laughing). The ending credits of Barbie itself are a product catalog, while Nolan missed the chance to market Oppenheimer’s fedora and “How to bed commie chicks” booklet. Both Warner Bros. Discovery and Nolan know who’s the box office champion, but Universal is surely more than happy with Oppenheimer’s success.
It's all good. Just watch out for Barbie and Barbenheimer-related scams and this July is a good summer for a Hollywood establishment. Mattel will go on with its movie lines, Oppenheimer can accept some awards (Oscar’s diversity criteria notwithstanding), the rich white stars get their fame and money and we’ll go to Barbenheimer again on TV for Christmas 2023. Along with Sound of Freedom and Doraemon: Nobita’s Sky Utopia.