The Screwup. Or, I Still Cannot Comprehend Anti-White Racism
Call me Uncle Mar
Despite my optimism in December, I still woke up feeling despaired over the holiday. It was such an awful feeling. It was a new day, but you began it by hating yourself. You saw no point in the new day, of your chances and objectives. That darkness of night never passed. In the opening line of “West End Girls”, you thought you were better off dead.
I remember where such a feeling happened. Melbourne in the mid-2000s. Waking up hating yourself in the most livable city on Earth is weird. Waking up hating yourself when there is so much to do is weird. Waking up hating yourself when you were in an apartment you could afford, instead of in prison, in captivity, or under the bridge, was weird.
I am quite aware of why it still happens. I miss the chance to become an Australian. Missing the opportunities and the citizenship. Missing the Barbieland where one could clean up, dress up, and step outside to cross paths with dozens of blonde women. I have screwed up and it might be too late to fix that. Australia is full.
But wait, if I regret throwing away the chance to make Australia home, why did I also feel like a screwup in Australia? There were two reasons. Being an incel, specifically a ricecel. Hooking up in the West seems easy enough unless you’re an Asian man (gay Asian men have the same problem). Second, I believed in a bright future for Asia.
Consider the Asian wave of the early 2000s: Oscar winners from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to Spirited Away. All the neon metropolises that thrilled Western celebrities and executives. All the new technologies from DVD to 3G smartphones to social media. By the time I realized Asia was too stressed and too neurotic to keep it all up, it was too late.
I hold on to that awful morning feeling while thinking about the ongoing hate against white people expressed by others: Black Westerners. Arabs. Even Asians themselves. Why is it so common? Why is it sustained? Why is it acceptable in publication? Why does nobody say, “Hold on, this is not helpful and it’s bad for our mental health?”
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Last year I wrote my readings on the two analyses regarding this phenomenon made by two African Europeans, Remi Adekoya and Malcom Kyeyune. Black and Arab Westerners may have very different experiences to Asian Westerners when waking up. Yes, Asians also wake up in rough parts of the city. Generally, they are not easygoing and chatty folks compared to Arabs and Africans. But they might have a successful Asia as well as successful Asians to be proud of, while Arabs and Black Westerners don’t have model countries to compare with their Western nation-states – even if there are many successful Arabs and Black Westerners.
I’m quite confident that Asians care less about the lives of white people to the point of total ignorance and wonder if other races are more fixated on comparing their lives to Europeans they see on TV, from the bus window, and most importantly, on social media.
If Asians approach this life comparison differently, it might be because they feel so detached from Europeans, and again. After all, they know that Asia is successful in its way. Now and then an Asian state, from Japan yesterday to India and Singapore today, is confident that it is richer than half of Europe. This confidence is still not there for Mexico, Jamaica, Nigeria, Lebanon, or Pakistan (which might have to be more…Asian?).
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Mary Harrington predicts that 2024 will be a year of open racism from both the left and the right. Naturally global media will freak out about right-wing racism while ignoring and justifying left-wing racism, especially as the latter targets Europeans and Jews. The age of multiculturalism is over, and indeed now the term itself has been problematized as it “Ignores the violence and oppression experienced daily by the Indigenous people”. Such lines are coming from Māori youth this holiday, but I’ve read the same lines written more than five years ago by Singaporean students.
Again, looking from Asia, I still don’t understand two things. First, how much everyday racism is sustained and tolerated, and second, why do Westerners think that nurturing such negativity is productive?
Once I disliked Australia for…disrespecting Asia, for not welcoming, and for being a home just for white people. And I’m still ashamed of that negativity. Nobody cared, it damaged my health, and well, why should Australia accommodate everyone? Why cannot Australia prioritize Anglo-Celtic culture, like other nations prioritize their majority cultures? Why should I, a foreigner, dictate this place?
And yet this folly is still practiced by millions in the West as you’re reading this. After their parents fought hard to be admitted as Americans or Britons, many children lucky enough to be born in the West now said that they never asked to be born as Westerners. Even when they know that being a majority in Haiti or Algeria is no joy.
Perhaps this hate is caused by the dread that so far, Europeans have created better societies, balancing work and play so one can be both prosperous and happy. Perhaps that was the truth I denied two decades ago, and in panic, I jumped off the ship of Australia into the sea.
Perhaps this is the truth that many Black and Muslim bourgeois realize daily. Their constant anger and frustration, which are harmless for the Western elites, buy them another day of respite from reality: Nobody is out to get them, actual violence comes from their kin instead of laughing white families, and their happiness and success depend on themselves.